It's not uncommon for some individuals to avoid household chores or responsibilities, and this behavior can manifest differently in different people. While I cannot know the specific reasons for your husband's behavior without more information, I can offer some possible explanations:
Avoidance and procrastination: Some people simply dislike or avoid cleaning and household chores. They may find these tasks tedious, boring, or mentally draining, leading them to seek distractions or hide to avoid doing them.
Learned behavior: If your husband grew up in an environment where household chores were not a priority or were primarily handled by others, he might not have learned the importance of actively participating in cleaning.
Lack of awareness: Your husband may not fully grasp how his avoidance affects you and the household. He might not realize the emotional or physical burden it places on you.
Stress relief: Taking long cigarette breaks or hiding in the bathroom may be his way of coping with stress or anxiety related to cleaning or other aspects of life.
Power dynamics: Sometimes, one partner may unconsciously adopt a role in the relationship where they feel less responsible for certain tasks, leading to a disproportionate distribution of household duties.
Communication issues: If there hasn't been clear and open communication about household responsibilities, your husband may not fully understand your expectations or the impact his behavior has on you.
To address this situation, consider the following steps:
Open communication: Have an honest and non-confrontational conversation with your husband about your feelings and concerns. Share how his behavior affects you and ask him about his perspective as well.
Explore reasons: Ask him why he avoids cleaning or participating in household chores. Understanding his reasons can help find potential solutions.
Find a compromise: Work together to find a solution that works for both of you. This might involve dividing household chores more evenly or finding alternative ways for him to contribute to the household.
Positive reinforcement: Acknowledge and appreciate his efforts when he does participate in cleaning or household tasks. Positive reinforcement can encourage more involvement over time.
Set expectations: Establish clear expectations for household responsibilities, so both of you are on the same page. This might include creating a cleaning schedule or using task lists.
Seek professional help: If communication and attempts to resolve the issue are unsuccessful, consider seeking help from a relationship counselor. A professional can offer guidance and facilitate constructive conversations.
Remember that each relationship is unique, and it's crucial to approach this issue with empathy and a willingness to work together to find a solution that benefits both partners.